{"id":356,"date":"2017-10-05T12:23:19","date_gmt":"2017-10-05T16:23:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kimberlyyavorski.com\/inandout\/?p=356"},"modified":"2017-10-19T16:22:06","modified_gmt":"2017-10-19T20:22:06","slug":"read-f-ing-story","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/kimberlyyavorski.com\/inandout\/read-f-ing-story\/","title":{"rendered":"Read the F*@%-ing Story Before You Leave a Comment"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\" wp-image-360 aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/kimberlyyavorski.com\/inandout\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2017\/10\/IMG_5414-300x220.jpg\" alt=\"IMG_5414\" width=\"401\" height=\"294\" srcset=\"http:\/\/kimberlyyavorski.com\/inandout\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2017\/10\/IMG_5414-300x220.jpg 300w, http:\/\/kimberlyyavorski.com\/inandout\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2017\/10\/IMG_5414.jpg 492w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 401px) 100vw, 401px\" \/>Sorry for the profanity, but &#8220;Read the Gosh Darn Story&#8230;&#8221;\u009d just wouldn&#8217;t get your attention. Headlines are meant to grab your attention and get you to react. After all, the best writing in the world is useless if no one reads it. While commenting on a story is your right, and in many cases is encouraged by the publisher, doing so indiscriminately can make you look bad, and people may judge you as being lazy, foolish or just plain ignorant. Taking things too far can even get you banned from your favorite social media sites.<\/p>\n<p>If something you read touches you, or your immediate response is &#8220;Me too!&#8221; or for some reason you just love the story, by all means go ahead and comment. From a writer&#8217;s perspective, some days these morsels of praise are what keep us going.<\/p>\n<h2>It&#8217;s okay to set the record straight<\/h2>\n<p>On the flip side, if you disagree with something you&#8217;ve read and feel the need to say so, go ahead and comment, just remember that it is possible to <em>respectfully <\/em>disagree. Perhaps something the writer said has hit a nerve and you are offended. While it may be wise to first look at why you are offended and whether that is reasonable, go ahead and comment. If writers are thoughtless or cruel or have their facts wrong, this should be pointed out. Few writers are deliberately offensive and many will appreciate the comment, provided it is given in a polite, respectful manner.<\/p>\n<h2>People don&#8217;t always agree<\/h2>\n<p>Remember that opinion pieces are just that &#8212; opinions. Writers know that not everyone will share their opinion. Many welcome the opportunity to hear other opinions. All of us are deeply influenced by our own personal experiences and can learn much from the experiences of others. Again, respectfully disagreeing means your words are more likely to be heard.<\/p>\n<p>Before you leave that comment, first read the piece. Headlines don&#8217;t tell all (and in some cases, they tell nothing). Realize that headlines are an editorial decision and in many cases are not chosen by or even run past the writer. The best headlines attract attention and reflect the essence of a story, but those headlines are increasingly rare. Even with a good headline, you don&#8217;t really know what the writer is saying without reading the story.<\/p>\n<h2>Do more than skim<\/h2>\n<p><strong><em>Really read<\/em> <\/strong>the story. If you feel strongly enough about the content that you must comment, it is not enough to merely skim. Many things can be lost when one reads quickly, skipping sections. While we are taught in school to make our main point in the first paragraph, that is not how stories are always written. There is also the chance that the story is not what is seems. Maybe it&#8217;s fiction (remember the debut of &#8220;War of the Worlds&#8221;) Sometimes writers use special literary techniques such as satire to make a point. Perhaps you and the writer fully agree on the issue, but the first paragraph made you too angry to get to the place in the piece that this is revealed. If this is the case, maybe you shouldn&#8217;t comment (at least not now, you can always go back and comment later). Perhaps it is a reported story and quotes someone. You can&#8217;t assume that the writer agrees with the speaker, though if you are <em>reading the whole story<\/em>, the writer&#8217;s opinion generally comes through in the rest of the piece. If you&#8217;ve read and understand the point made and feel the need to, go ahead and comment (if you don&#8217;t understand at all, that may also be a cause to comment). Again, be respectful.<\/p>\n<h2>Look at what others have said<\/h2>\n<p>Before you comment, read the other comments. If you have a question, it is likely someone else has asked it. This is a challenge if there are already hundreds of comments, but if it isn&#8217;t worth your while to at least skim these, is it worth your while to comment (and perhaps be called out for your lack of diligence)? This has the added benefit of seeing what happens to those who comment without reading the story.<\/p>\n<p>Commenting can add value. Some stories benefit from active engagement. We all have something to share and more to learn. Reading the story before leaving a comment reduces the chance of looking ignorant, thoughtless or mean. It also enables you to make a meaningful contribution to the conversation. But please, first <em>read the story<\/em> and then, if you need to comment, be kind. Besides being the right thing to do, it&#8217;s more likely your voice will be heard. And isn&#8217;t that the point of commenting anyway?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Sorry for the profanity, but &#8220;Read the Gosh Darn Story&#8230;&#8221;\u009d just wouldn&#8217;t get your attention. Headlines are meant to grab your attention and get you to react. After all, the best writing in the world is useless if no one reads it. While commenting on a story is your right, and in many cases is [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[87],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-356","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-social-mores"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7mJoQ-5K","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":171,"url":"http:\/\/kimberlyyavorski.com\/inandout\/un-common-courtesy\/","url_meta":{"origin":356,"position":0},"title":"I\u2019m Tired of Hearing About Un-Common Courtesy","author":"Kimberly Yavorski","date":"June 21, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"I regularly hear that my kids have good manners. People compliment me on how polite they are. Though I appreciate hearing good things about them, this always puzzles me. They are not doing anything special, they behave in a way that I would expect everyone to. They say please and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;social mores&quot;","block_context":{"text":"social mores","link":"http:\/\/kimberlyyavorski.com\/inandout\/category\/social-mores\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"IMG_7477","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/kimberlyyavorski.com\/inandout\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2016\/06\/IMG_7477-300x225.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":66,"url":"http:\/\/kimberlyyavorski.com\/inandout\/irresponsible-preaching-and-irresponsible-journalism\/","url_meta":{"origin":356,"position":1},"title":"Irresponsible Preaching and Irresponsible Journalism","author":"Kimberly Yavorski","date":"March 16, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Today I am breaking rules. I am talking about politics and religion (okay, not exactly, but politics and religion are both tangentially related to my story). I believe in rules for the common good, but also in tolerance. People should be left to make their own decisions, as long as\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;social mores&quot;","block_context":{"text":"social mores","link":"http:\/\/kimberlyyavorski.com\/inandout\/category\/social-mores\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/kimberlyyavorski.com\/inandout\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2016\/03\/img_7430.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/kimberlyyavorski.com\/inandout\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2016\/03\/img_7430.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/kimberlyyavorski.com\/inandout\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2016\/03\/img_7430.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":151,"url":"http:\/\/kimberlyyavorski.com\/inandout\/new-sexual-revolution\/","url_meta":{"origin":356,"position":2},"title":"Are We on the Cusp of a New Sexual Revolution?","author":"Kimberly Yavorski","date":"June 7, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"The viral reactions to recent news has been unusual to say the least, resulting in a an uproar across the internet. Last week the big story was the child who ended up in a gorilla enclosure at a zoo. People were quick to blame: the mom and the zoo were\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;feminism&quot;","block_context":{"text":"feminism","link":"http:\/\/kimberlyyavorski.com\/inandout\/category\/feminism\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"100_7698","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/kimberlyyavorski.com\/inandout\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2016\/06\/100_7698-300x225.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":318,"url":"http:\/\/kimberlyyavorski.com\/inandout\/readers-to-blame\/","url_meta":{"origin":356,"position":3},"title":"Are Readers to Blame for Sensational Journalism?","author":"Kimberly Yavorski","date":"February 7, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Shortly after the election, a young woman I know requested help with a media ethics class assignment. Her task was to find examples of bias in the news that was of concern to readers. Since this is someone I am fond of and the topic is in my field, I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"news\"","block_context":{"text":"news","link":"http:\/\/kimberlyyavorski.com\/inandout\/tag\/news\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"newspaper-1595773_1920","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/kimberlyyavorski.com\/inandout\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2017\/02\/newspaper-1595773_1920-300x200.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/kimberlyyavorski.com\/inandout\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2017\/02\/newspaper-1595773_1920-300x200.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/kimberlyyavorski.com\/inandout\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2017\/02\/newspaper-1595773_1920-300x200.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":209,"url":"http:\/\/kimberlyyavorski.com\/inandout\/taking-place-family-line\/","url_meta":{"origin":356,"position":4},"title":"Cleaning in the Buff? Maybe Grandma Was On To Something","author":"Kimberly Yavorski","date":"September 1, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Warning: If the idea of midlife nudity scares you, you might want to turn back now. Maybe it\u2019s because I am now 50, but I find myself thinking about my female ancestors quite a bit lately. I come from a long line of strong women, and most of them, I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;midlife&quot;","block_context":{"text":"midlife","link":"http:\/\/kimberlyyavorski.com\/inandout\/category\/midlife\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"IMG_0003","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/kimberlyyavorski.com\/inandout\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2016\/09\/IMG_0003-300x221.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":100,"url":"http:\/\/kimberlyyavorski.com\/inandout\/preparing-children-life\/","url_meta":{"origin":356,"position":5},"title":"Are &#8220;Top&#8221; Colleges the Best Preparation for Life?","author":"Kimberly Yavorski","date":"March 22, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"A recent article I read about a child who was devastated about being rejected by Harvard struck a nerve with me. Despite the fact that only about 10% of students who apply to Ivy League schools are admitted (and many of those rejected do meet the qualifications), this student believed\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;education&quot;","block_context":{"text":"education","link":"http:\/\/kimberlyyavorski.com\/inandout\/category\/education\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/kimberlyyavorski.com\/inandout\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2016\/03\/DSCF1033resized-300x225.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/kimberlyyavorski.com\/inandout\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/356","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/kimberlyyavorski.com\/inandout\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/kimberlyyavorski.com\/inandout\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/kimberlyyavorski.com\/inandout\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/kimberlyyavorski.com\/inandout\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=356"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"http:\/\/kimberlyyavorski.com\/inandout\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/356\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":373,"href":"http:\/\/kimberlyyavorski.com\/inandout\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/356\/revisions\/373"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/kimberlyyavorski.com\/inandout\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=356"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/kimberlyyavorski.com\/inandout\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=356"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/kimberlyyavorski.com\/inandout\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=356"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}