Once a Band Parent, Always a Band Parent

Last week I hit a new milestone – I realized I’m entering my 20th year as a marching band parent and have been to almost as many Parent Previews.

For the uninitiated, a Parent Preview is the first time the marching band performs for an audience, generally at the end of Band Camp (an intense period of learning to march in formation, while at the same time, learning new music or color guard routines). Over the next couple months, the marching unit will continue to improve, while also adding new elements and sometimes incorporating slight changes. This performance can be likened to a “rough draft.” What you see that night is often vastly different from the performances you see in competition at the end of the season.

Two of my four participated in high school marching band; one continued in college, the other moved on to a staff position. So years after my band kids graduated, I am still a band parent. (Or does that make me a band grandparent?)

I loved watching the band perform at halftime when I was in high school. I’m still enthralled by the spectacle, and truly enjoyed chaperoning band competitions. But that’s nothing compared to watching how these kids grow and thrive through participating in marching band.

I’ll admit, I was not an early enthusiast of what can be considered a grueling schedule. When my oldest told me that the last two weeks of summer, plus every Friday and Saturday (plus two evening s a week) from Labor Day through November was now claimed (and since 14-year-olds don’t drive, this meant I was on call during these times), I was less than thrilled. But then I saw the acceptance and encouragement that came from the upperclassmen, the joy and the dedication of my child, and realized how very much it was all worth it.

Marching band teaches so much: yes music, but also teamwork, cooperation, time-management, sportsmanship, the importance of hydration and sunblock, and sometimes also conflict resolution skills. I’ve marveled at the support these kids get provide, not just from each other, but from other schools’ bands as well. During the third quarter of football games (the traditional “break” for band members), it is not unusual to see them laughing with rival band members, sharing jokes and snacks and doling out compliments. Even at competitions, the bands celebrate each other’s successes.

And even after all these years, I love to watch it all. I love the spectacle, but I also love the behind the scenes: the students beaming as their many hours of practice pay off, the supportive comments to nervous students, the student who finally masters a complicated move, the crowd cheering as a challenging toss is caught. I quietly watch the complicated emotions as students line up to perform, the silly jitter-reducing routines the coaches use as they prepare to step out on the field, and then the huge smiles (of the color guard) as they perform. I’ve seen jubilant grins and disappointed faces, with coaches beaming with pride or encouraging them to “shake it off.”

These kids work HARD. But while few people think about it, so do their coaches. These adults spend hundreds of hours working, without the kids. They choose the music and plan the routines, then make changes on the fly to accommodate the unique talents of a diverse group that comes to the activity at varying skill levels. They teach and encourage, guide and mediate, and sometimes learn new tricks and skills themselves. Like their students, they eat on the run, struggle to get enough sleep, and spend time away from their families. They serve as teachers, cheerleaders, and mediators.

I didn’t expect to still be here, but suppose I should have (after all, once a band parent, always a band parent). And, honestly, it’s just as much fun to watch my adult children grow and learn as it is the kids they work with.