When You Don’t Realize the “Lasts” Already Happened

As my youngest completes her college journey I am again faced with the question: “What now?”

While I easily adjusted to no longer being a daily chauffeur, my life has still been somewhat dictated by a school calendar. With two in college, most of the past few years have been a constantly revolving door – while one would leave, the other would soon return for a brief visit and only weeks later the process would repeat. This left little time to feel the impacts of an empty nest.

Now I am looking at only one college schedule and a child who will not be coming home for semester breaks. In fact, I may not see her until graduation. While this frees up my schedule and gives me control of my own time, it also makes me a little sad and reminds me how fast time goes.

Last fall, we attended our last parents’ weekend which surprisingly included meeting many parents for the first time, making me wish we had more of these weekends ahead of us. Like many of the other lasts, this one was different. This year felt more like a meeting of equals. Our parent/child relationship is changing.

I’m discovering that like much earlier lasts, some, like the last spring break, I missed altogether. While I treated last summer like it might be the last, I assumed this school year would be like the others. This was not meant to be since my youngest, caught something incurable last spring during her semester abroad – the travel bug. While I’ll miss her presence here, I’m glad she is spreading her wings.

As my last graduation as a parent approaches, I have mixed feelings. Like the lasts of years past, I am a bit melancholy – the time has gone much too soon, but like saying goodbye to the idea of more babies all those years ago, this feels right.

Maybe I’m finally growing up too.