The Second Year College Drop Off May Not Be Easier, But it Is Different

The second-year college drop off hits just a bit different. I’m not sure it’s accurate to say it’s easy, but it’s mostly likely not as hard as year one.

It may be the change in your child’s attitude. In many cases, they are returning “home,” and while their use of that word for a place away from us is a gut punch for many parents, this is a good thing – it signifies growth and that they are happy with the path they are on.

It may be that the packing and traveling feels more familiar. You’ve likely spent some time on campus and have at least a rough idea of what a typical “day in the life” looks like. You know that they have everything they need and if they do happen to forget something, it’s a minor inconvenience, not an anxiety-provoking crisis.

It may be that you’re more relaxed because your fears from last year went unrealized. Your child succeeded in classes (even if not to the level you, and perhaps they, expected), they made friends, and didn’t do the stupid things you worried they might try (or at least you didn’t hear about it).

It may be that you’ve actually been looking forward to them returning to school (though you would never admit that out loud). Once everyone gets used to the “new normal,” it’s almost impossible to go back to the old one. Yes, you love having them around again, but they’ve grown and changed, perhaps in some ways that you find just a bit irritating.

This may all be true, but it’s also true that them going back to campus is another change, another step in them moving away from you. You may be focused on how much you will miss them, and may even shed a few tears. Goodbyes with our kids are hard, starting with leaving them at daycare or kindergarten.

And just like those earlier goodbyes, they don’t really get easier, but we get better at managing them. After all, it’s not really “goodbye” but more like “au revoir” or “arrivederci” – until we see each other again.