Seeking Comfort in Uncertain Times
Heaven has a special place for kindergarten teachers; Personally, I’m happy to not be responsible for entertaining small children stuck at home for an indeterminate amount of time. Older kids understand the dangers of COVID and that we need to stay at home for their safety, and for others. They don’t need constant supervision and are generally capable of tending to their own basic needs.
However, this side of parenting isn’t easy either. In these very uncertain times, COMFORTING THESE BIG KIDS IS HARD.
How do you tell a college-educated young adult that everything will be okay, especially when you sometimes wonder how and if that’s true yourself?
How do you convince them to not worry endlessly about people they can’t see in person: grandparents, friends, and significant others, especially when you are doing the same yourself?
How do you make sure you don’t miss signs of anxiety and depression and help to eliminate triggers, especially when you yourself are on edge?
How do you figure out whether kids who have moved out are safer riding it out alone from a distance or coming home, especially when some family members are considered “high-risk”?
How do you maintain balance in a household composed of different personalities with different tolerance levels for the news and for talking about it?
I don’t have the answer, but I do believe we need to let kids see our human side. While they need comfort now, they don’t need us to be perfect. They need to know that we sometimes fail, that our feelings can be hurt, and even that we get scared. They need to see how we deal with these things and that our lives aren’t over when things get tough.
I know that we will get through this crisis, but I have no vision of what that will look like. That is scary even to me. Perhaps the key is to not think so far ahead. Instead focus on today and keep our planning flexible. Make plans for tomorrow, lay out a tentative schedule for next week, and make long-term goals with a “time-unspecific” timeline.
On a daily basis, we need to keep asking “How are you?” keep listening to the answers, and keep saying “I love you.”
We need to find a balance between relaxing and keeping busy. If not working at home, (thanks to many people comping together to pool resources) it’s fairly easy to find many interesting things online to distract you from the news right now. If you want to go screen-free, pull out the board games and jigsaw puzzles, the books, journals and art supplies.
Get outside – exercise and fresh air are good for the body and mind.
Use the phone – now, perhaps more than ever, people need to hear your voice (and you can tell more about how they are coping this way than through the written word).
If you’re struggling to cope, reach out. We’re all in this together.
Be safe. Virtual hugs to all.
