When I Grow Up

More Support, Less Judgement Needed for the Pregnant Girl

Nicole Lynn Lewis grew up in a middle class family in suburban New England and later Virginia Beach. An honors student in high school, her life changed when she fell in love with the wrong man. At age 17, a stack of college acceptances sat on her desk and she learned she was pregnant. This news changed the trajectory of her life, plunging her into poverty and creating challenges that some would find it impossible to overcome.

PREGNANT GIRL: A Story of Teen Motherhood, College, and Creating a Better Future for Young Families tells of Lewis’ experiences and shows how she persevered to become one of the 2% of teen mothers who earn a college degree (in her case, from a prestigious liberal arts college). Lewis shares her struggles with periods of homelessness and hunger, alongside the separate (but in her case, co-existing) stresses and challenges that come with being a college student and a new mother. More than just a memoir, the book weaves in facts, statistics and true stories related to teen pregnancy, relying heavily on Lewis’ work with teen parents through her nonprofit Generation Hope.

The book focuses on some of the root causes of teen pregnancy (roughly 750,000 girls between 15 and 19 become pregnant each year) and how even one person can make a difference. It addresses the lack of accessibility to services that have been proven effective to pull people out of poverty and shows the unrelenting determination some individuals have found deep within themselves to succeed. Lewis also points out that while the numbers of teen pregnancies are high, these numbers are on the decline. They are, in fact, significantly lower than they were two generations ago. She shows how targeting social programs to meet basic needs can reduce these numbers even further.

PREGNANT GIRL is raw, honest and inspiring. It reveals a life on the edges of mainstream America that too many are unaware of and demonstrates how easily one can slide from one socioeconomic bracket to another. One clear takeaway from this book is that teen pregnancy is not a moral issue, but a social one where small investments can pay huge dividends. This should give hope to women who see themselves reflected in these pages and compassion from those who recognize that, given even a single different life circumstance, they could have found themselves in the same place.

 

Note: Though an advance digital copy of this book was provided free of charge, no compensation was made for this review and the opinions are exclusively mine. KY


Woof! New Children’s Book Reveals The Truth About Dogs

book cover: close up photo of a pug-nosed dog and title: WOOF! THE TRUTH ABOUT DOGS

WOOF! THE TRUTH ABOUT DOGS by Annette Whipple explores some of the “whys” about dogs that children, in particular, are eager to learn.

A detailed question-and-answer book, illustrated with beautiful in-your-face photos of dogs and charming sidebar illustrations by Juanbjuan Oliver, it answers the questions:

Do dogs sweat?

Why do dogs smell butts?

Why do dogs chew shoes?

And much more.

Page spread from book, "Do dogs sweat?" with photo of dog panting and smaller photos of a dog's nose and paw

A great introduction to dog behavior, this informational picture book also provides simple, yet effective directions on how to behave around a dog you are first meeting. Readers will appreciate the accessibility of the dog facts, which may prompt further questions and conversations, particularly about dogs actually met in person. The book also addresses the fact that some dogs are not simply pets but also have careers, (such as police and service dogs). The rules for approaching them may be different. In addition, the author has spread interesting tidbits of information throughout, to further explain why dogs act the way they do and reinforce the concept that dogs have established close bonds with humans over time.

The second book in the The Truth About series, Woof! also includes an abbreviated list of dog breeds, a number of suggestions of things kids can do to help dogs, and directions for a simple do-it-yourself dog toy. Children are certain to pick up WOOF! THE TRUTH ABOUT DOGS to read, in part or whole, over and over again, making it a welcome addition to any classroom or personal library.

Note: Though an advance digital copy of this book was provided free of charge, no compensation was made for this review and the opinions are exclusively mine. KY


Grief and Joy Are Not Mutually Exclusive Emotions

The Price of Admission, Embracing a Life of Grief and Joy, by Liz Petrone is a poignant memoir, It’s a book about being a mother and being a daughter, about living in the past and the now, about losing and finding, breaking and healing.

Petrone’s writing style is approachable; she brings the reader in as if joining a conversation. The book is at times laugh out loud funny, and at other times it’s introspective and poignant. but above all, this book is real and honest. Liz does not shy away from the hard things – she admits to bouts of depression and anxiety as well as an eating disorder and a suicide attempt in her youth.

She talks about her relationship with her mother (it’s complicated) and how her mother’s demons and death have influenced her own mothering and how her mother remains an ever-present character in her life. She talks about the importance of friends, particularly other women, and how we need friends of all ages, at all life stages, to help guide and support us on our journey. She talks about the drudgery of parenting, as well as its joys.

This book is hopeful in the face of adversity. Life is messy and sometimes painful. While most people share only their highlight reel. Petrone provides a clear message that too few are willing to admit: life is hard, we make mistakes, we may even break, but we also can once again be made whole. She lets her readers know, they are not alone.

 

Liz Petrone has graciously donated a copy for a #giveaway. Click below to enter

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Note: Opinions expressed here are my own. No compensation was provided for this review. KY


A New Perspective in Parenting: a Supportive Scaffold

There are lots of parenting styles which have prompted comparisons of parents to non-human objects. In essence, parents have been called tigers, helicopters, snowplows, and lighthouses. To that list we now add — building materials? Yes! In his new book, child and adolescent psychiatrists Harold Koplewicz likens parents to the lattice-like structure placed around a building as it is being built or repaired. And he does so convincingly.

The Scaffold Effect, Raising Resilient, Self-Reliant, and Secure Kids in an Age of Anxiety is a parenting book that covers all stages of development, from toddler to teen. It presents the idea that parenting done well is like a scaffold: a protective, supportive framework put in place during periods of growth which is then removed when the structure is able to stand on its own. When there is a need for some extra TLC or repair, the scaffold may be put back in place and then removed again. This process can be repeated as needed.

Throughout the book, Koplewicz focuses on building relationships. When children misbehave, he says, parents should use positive discipline; not punishment. Children need to be taught what they should do and provided with the framework they will need to be independent adults equipped to deal with adversity.  They need parents to model communication and coping skills and to support them as they work on those skills.

The book presents common issues parents face and offers specific strategies to provide structure, support, and encouragement. It explains that parents should set clear boundaries, offer guidance, and cheer their children on when they succeed, and help set them on the right path when they falter. The book suggests ways parents can help their children grow by using patience and warmth, dispensing discipline dispassionately, and monitoring without being intrusive. It also encourages parents to be aware both of their own biases and their child’s individual needs. Charts in each chapter address common mental health issues and break down which behaviors are normal, which may be a sign for concern, and when you should seek help.

As children enter adulthood, the scaffold is removed, layer by layer.  When (not if) it is necessary, Koplewicz says, the scaffold may be put back up temporarily. As children grow into teens and young adults, the parental role shifts to one that is more advisory in nature, but there is no magic age where children “become” adults nor should this be expected.

Parents will be happy to find that The Scaffold Effect provides solid parenting advice, in a way that is guilt-free. An early chapter points out that parental burnout is very real, essentially making the point that parents need to tend to their own needs before they can effectively help their children. This book also reassures parents that everyone makes mistakes sometimes and that change is possible even when behavior (the parent’s or the child’s) is seemingly already ingrained. While no one wants to be compared to building material, this metaphor makes sense.

 

Note: Though an advance digital copy of this book was provided free of charge, no compensation was made for this review and the opinions are exclusively mine. KY


Reading as a Writer

Some may have noticed a large number of biographies on my 2020 reading list. There’s a reason for that.

[conspiratorial whisper]

Here’s a little behind the scenes information: Writers need to also be readers.

You might be saying, “Of course, that makes perfect sense!”

I think it’s safe to say that most writers are readers. Most of us have been called to write because we spent so much of our lives reading the words of others. We recognize how valuable words are. We love the way individual letters can be put together to make words that can then be strung together to form thoughts and ideas to be shared with other people, who may relate to what we have written and may even experience strong emotions. As writers, we are word people. And of course in a material sense, writers need readers. Without readers, our writings just sit there, unused.

But that’s not what I am talking about here. Writers need to be constant readers and reading is sometimes part of the job. Writers who want to be published need to know what other people are writing about. They need to know what readers are looking for. They need to know what stories are currently selling.

Writers also need to be marketers. Writers are the only ones who know the details of their stories, the only ones who know what message they want their readers to receive, the only ones who really have a vested interest in their work selling.

Back to the reading list.

As noted, last year I read a lot of biographies. I read more biographies than usual last year because I am writing a biography. And what many people might not realize is that in order to convince a publisher to make your book a reality, a writer first must write a book proposal. This proposal of course includes details about your book, but also requires you to list “comps” – other books that are similar to yours, that might inhabit the same shelf space at the bookstore and possibly be competition for your title. While I suppose I could simply go to the bookstore and make a list of the books on the biography shelves, what’s the fun in that, when I could instead read them all! (I jest, there are too many to read them all, and if you want to be taken seriously, you do in fact need to show that you have read your comps.)

Book publishers want to see current books, and on my first bookstore visit to find relevant comps, nothing really seemed similar enough. While my book tells the story of a notable individual, it also covers the specific topics of education and children’s literature. I was disappointed to not find the perfect book, but not wanting to go home empty-handed, I selected biographies on people that interested me and began reading.

As often happens, one good story led to another. I began seeing recommendations and ads for biographies that more closely fit what I was looking for. I soon learned that there were many more fascinating people in the world than I had realized. I also noted that I had begun reading as a writer.

Let me explain that.

I’ve never been the sort of writer that focuses on the story elements we all learned in high school. You might remember learned about setting, character, plot, theme, and conflict. You may remember analyzing stories and having to pick out the introduction, rising action, the climax, the denouement. My English teachers suggested that writers start with these, but I’ve always been a more intuitive writer (a result, I believe, of being an avid reader all my life). In fact, I am incapable of writing an outline before the story. Even in school, I had to write the story before I could outline it, often because I don’t always know exactly what I’m writing about until it’s already been (at least partially) written.

But while reading these books, I found myself noticing things that I felt worked (and maybe didn’t work) in the stories. Some of these things were subjective and matched my personal interests. I made mental (and a few scribbled) notes of things I want to include in my book as well as what information may not be of enough interest to readers to bother including.

Storytelling techniques jumped out at me. I noted as a reader that I want more than a timeline, even one filled in with lots of details. As a writer, I know it’s easy to get bogged down in the research, especially when everything seems interesting and relevant. The question therefore is “Does this information contribute to the story you are telling?”

This storytelling is ultimately the author’s job. While a biography must be a true story, it need not be the whole story. In fact, in most cases, the whole story is too long and honestly at times, uninteresting. I found this revelation reassuring; it removes the pressure to tell “the whole story” and makes it easier to determine when to stop researching. (Full disclosure: I struggle with this – the end to research makes me a little sad.)

Noticing that I was noticing these things made me pause. While I wasn’t enjoying the books any less (as often happens when you read to analyze rather than for pleasure), I was reading differently. I was learning: how to be a better writer and how to determine which stories make the book and which end up in the slush folder. (I have a tough time permanently deleting words/sentences/paragraphs that sound good, so they end up in their own folder and sometimes end up being pulled out for other, related stories.) It got me thinking about what threads will weave through my own book and what steps I need to take next.

While I’m keeping details under wraps for now, I’ll be sharing more here in the future. Until then, I hope you enjoy my reading recommendations – there are more coming.

~Kimberly

 

 

For those who are wondering, my novel hasn’t been abandoned -it’s being revised, with the help of my wonderful new critique group. I’ll keep you posted on that one as well.


The Surprising Relevance of Lady Bird Johnson

Lady Bird Johnson: Hiding in Plain Sight by Julia Sweig is more than the story of one of America’s most influential First Ladies; it also provides a behind-the-scenes view of the Johnson presidency and its role in both the Vietnam conflict and the Civil Rights movement. Covering Johnson’s life from birth to death, it largely focuses on her public life which began shortly after she married the man who would become America’s 36th president. Using Lady Bird’s personal diaries, public letters, interviews, oral histories, and contemporary accounts, the book provides important historical context, revealing events and forces that led to the turbulence of the ‘60s, and also addresses the changing political winds that shaped the two major political parties into the entities they are today.

Though she was born into wealth on a Texas plantation, Claudia Alta Taylor, dubbed Lady Bird as a child, hardly met the stereotype of a Southern Belle. Shortly after earning a journalism degree, she met Lyndon Baines Johnson. They married after a three-month courtship. From that day forward, she worked to further his career, racking up several “firsts” of her own.  More comfortable in the limelight than Jackie Kennedy, as Second Lady, Lady Bird frequently filled in for the then-First Lady at public events. When Johnson became president, she reinvented the role to suit her own personality and many of her changes remain today. She was the first to work the campaign trail on her own, the first First Lady to hold the Bible during the inauguration ceremony and the first to have her own Chief of Staff and Press Secretary.

Lady Bird Johnson: Hiding in Plain Sight compares Lady Bird’s influence to that of Eleanor Roosevelt, but points out that their public personas were quite different. Lady Bird’s femininity was unquestioned; she kept much of her activism in the shadows, thereby enhancing her popularity. Despite calls for her to be officially named as Johnson’s running mate, (he never appointed a VP while he served the balance of John F. Kennedy’s term) the public saw her primarily as a wife and mother. Sweig shows how her femininity was balanced by shrewdness, both in business and her use of the press (surely learned from her days as a journalism student). Lady Bird’s careful word choices when it came to her own personal cause – the environment, known publicly as “beautification efforts” – masked some of her progressive efforts in civil rights and social causes. She may be remembered for planting millions of daffodils, but this book makes clear that she also did much more.

It’s impossible to not see correlations between the scenes of the ‘60s that unravel in this book and recent current events. It is said we need to learn from history so as not to repeat it. This book is a an engaging glimpse into the life of one of our most influential First Ladies as well as a palatable history lesson for those who were too young to remember those tumultuous years (or who were otherwise occupied and not paying attention). This seems to be especially relevant today if we are going to take what we learned from our past and use that knowledge moving forward.

 

Note: Though an advance digital copy of this book was provided free of charge, no compensation was made for this review and the opinions are exclusively mine. KY


These 28 Celebs Are Perfectly Imperfect

Perfectly Imperfect Stories by Leo Potion reinforces the idea that “it’s ok to not be ok.” This book looks at the lives of 28 famous people — actors, scientists, artists, athletes and world leaders – and talks about the struggles they have experienced despite, or in some cases, because of their fame. Mental health issues such as depression and anxiety are sensitively addressed, and brief explanations of specific diagnoses are included.

Middle grade readers will recognize many of the celebrities included here and may see their own lives reflected in some of the challenges these individuals have worked to overcome. These stories offer reassurance that personal heroes also experience moments of self-doubt and depression. They are a reminder that things aren’t always as they seem: those who seem to have it all together may be floundering as well. Aside from pointing out that perfection is an illusion and that even the most popular people struggle and need help, the book also includes a list of good habits to support one’s own mental health as well as information on reaching professional organizations for advice or support.

The individuals highlighted in this book may have “imperfect stories” but readers will find them Perfectly Inspiring.

 

Note: Though an advance digital copy of this book was provided free of charge, no compensation was made for this review and the opinions are exclusively mine. KY


A Year of Books – 2020 in Review

Half my current TBR pile. (It’s two stacks deep.)

I don’t remember a time when I didn’t love books. Practically from the time I was born, my uncle ensured I had a ready supply and my mom read to me every night, even after I learned to read on my own. After I had been tucked in at night, I continued to read, until my eyes no longer stayed open. When I started getting an allowance, I spent most of it at B Dalton or Waldenbooks. After I started college, my reading habits began to change when reading to learn left little time to read for pleasure, but I still found time to lose myself in the wonderful world of words.

When I became a mom myself, I began the same routine my mom had established years before. However, after a day wrangling kids, my reading routine generally stopped after they were tucked in for the night. At some point, I realized that I had lost control of my reading list. I allowed each child to select their bedtime story (though I sometimes claimed veto power, such as the 27th time my daughter wanted to hear Wendell) but rarely read anything of my choosing. I longed for the day I would again choose what I read.

Then I began to spend much of my after-school hours in the car. I discovered that waiting for children to finish activities (especially those didn’t last long enough to make it worth driving home and returning) could become prime reading time, even though this meant I had to adjust to a new pattern – putting a book down unfinished to come back to at a later date and time.

Today I read both to learn and for pleasure. I’ll admit that I often choose kids’ books over those written for adults. To be honest, I find they sometimes have more substance and truth than their grown-up counterparts.

As a writer, I have many writer friends and acquaintances. Some have written books and I have been lucky enough to receive advance copies to review. In addition, I have an account on Netgalley, which also provides me the opportunity to read and review books before they are released. Some of these books I have reviewed on this blog. Other books I have heard about and obtained in the same way as most people – personal recommendations and ads, through my local library and bookstores.

In 2020, my reading was an eclectic mix. In addition to the books I read to review, reading books has also been part of the research for the books I am writing. Some of these were for background and may include information that will work its way into my own books, while others are necessary market research. And of course I’ve also read some books just for the fun of it.

I wish I had kept a comprehensive list to share, but here’s a partial list of what I read last year:

Books for Kids

An Apple for Dapple by Leah Peterson

Too Sticky! Sensory Issues With Autism by Jen Malia

The Laura Ingalls Wilder Companion, A Chapter-by-Chapter Guide by Annette Whipple

Now Hear This; Harper Soars With Her Magic Ears  by Valli and Harper Gideons

Skedaddle by Jacqueline Leigh

Belinda Baloney Changes Her Mind by Becca Carnahan

Ghetto Cowboy by G. Neri

The Story of Norman Mineta, a Boy Imprisoned in a Japanese American Internment Camp During World War II by Andrea Warren

Eclipse Chaser: Science in the Moon’s Shadow by Ilima Loomis

Women Who Dared: 52 Stories of Fearless Daredevils, Adventurers, and Rebels (Biography Books for Kids, Feminist Books for Girls) by Linda Skeers

Dissenter on the Bench: Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s Life and Work by Victoria Ortiz

I Dissent: Ruth Bader Ginsburg Made Her Mark by Debbie Levy

Nevertheless, We Persisted : 48 Voices of Defiance, Strength, and Courage

Books for Adults

Growing Sustainable Together: Practical Resources for Raising Kind, Engaged, Resilient Children by Shannon Brescher Shea

Becoming Dr. Seuss: Theodor Geisel and the Making of an American Imagination by Brian Jay Jones

Becoming Queen Victoria : The Tragic Death of Princess Charlotte and the Unexpected Rise Of Britain’s Greatest Monarch  by Kate Williams

Princess: The Early Life of Queen Elizabeth II by Jane Dismore

Henry David Thoreau: A Life, by Laura Dassow Walls

Eleanor by David Michaelis

Three Sisters by Phillipa Gregory

The Last Tudor by Phillipa Gregory

The Extraordinary Life of AA Milne by Nadia Cohen

Becoming by Michelle Obama

Good Girls Revolt: How the Women of Newsweek Sued their Bosses and Changed the Workplace by Lynn Povich

Let Them Be Themselves by Lee Bennett Hopkins

The Dutch House by Ann Patchett

Right now, my TBR (to be read) pile is substantial. If I were to make a New Year’s Resolution, it would be to read my way through much of it; my list for this month alone includes four that were recently published or are soon to be released. I’ll keep you posted…

 

 


A Year Worth Remembering? Goodbye 2020!

As many of us often do, I’m ending the year reflecting. This year in particular has been a challenging one to look at in review. As has been the case much of this year, I haven’t always been able to quickly recall what I did yesterday, never mind months ago. Though I don’t do this every year, I decided to review what I have written in 2020, which appears to be not much.

I forgot that back in January, I chose my words for the year, and “Whoa Nellie!” (to quote my dear Grandpa Joe), they were powerful words! “Embracing change” was what I looked forward to for 2020. Little did I know how much in all our lives would change and how little I anticipated exactly what demands would be placed on me because of those changes. (Suffice it to say, there will be no choosing words or phrases for 2021.)

The year 2020 was one for the history books, in many ways. (There is no need to expand on this: Even decades in the future, a simple Google – or equivalent – search will provide details.) I’m sure everyone will agree that the year was one of upended plans and dashed expectations. On Friday, March 13 (otherwise known as the day the world shut down for many of us), I realized how much things would rapidly change, took stock of what resources I had at my disposal and made a conscious decision to shift to a domestic course of action, to focus on my family: on caretaking and calming nerves as best I could (while mostly hiding my own moments of panic). I didn’t know then that my temporary hiatus from my typical workday schedule would last throughout the year.

With freelance opportunities reduced by shrinking budgets (largely a result of reduced advertising due to reduced spending on just about everything – except of course for the elusive toilet paper), I decided this would be a good time to focus on bigger projects: books. More specifically, I spent much of the year working on my historical novel about the Titanic and also a new project, a comprehensive biography on a person dear to my heart whose words began haunting me, demanding that I write this book.

Though things often looked bleak, the year brought some pleasant surprises. I try to make it to a couple writers’ conferences each year and this year had two planned, in April and May. Needless to say, both were postponed and ultimately went virtual. While I was disappointed by not being able to meet people in person (particularly the one focused on children’s literature, the first of its kind I would attend), the costs were significantly reduced, making it possible for me to add another conference previously outside my budget. All were well done despite the obvious challenges, and I learned quite a bit more than I expected.

The year also brought not-so-pleasant surprises. My mom was diagnosed with cancer and began treatment early this summer. My parents live about 1000 miles away, but we all agreed that I needed to visit, so I took appropriate precautions and made two two-week trips to spend time with them. I also learned that my body hates gluten and needed to make significant dietary changes. It’s interesting to note that during a pandemic, gluten free breads, pastas and flour sell out as fast as gluten-full ones.

Perhaps my biggest surprise this year relates to my outlook. While this year saw only a dozen published bylines, I’m okay with that.  2020 forced me to slow down, to value things differently. Yes, I am disappointed that I didn’t write more words this year, that I didn’t publish more. I don’t think it’s being too hard on myself to say that I could have done better – but I did enough. I made it through the year – not unscathed, but it could have been worse.

This was a year I would never want to repeat, but it had its moments. It was a year of learning, on many levels. It was a year of growing, personally and professionally. It was a year of evaluating, where and who I am and where and who I want to be. While we all experienced the year differently, it impacted us all. Many people have said that the forced slowdown of the year was a good thing, that it provided perspective.

Ringing in 2021 will be different – smaller, quieter, more tentative. Here’s hoping the lessons learned in the past year will carry through and make the new one better. I know I said I wasn’t choosing words this year, but I am looking forward to a year full of hope, peace and joy.

Happy New Year to all!

~Kimberly


The new picture book Belinda Baloney Changes Her Mind by Becca Carnahan delightfully explores the dilemma so many children face when asked “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

The story starts with three-year-old Belinda who can’t decide what she wants to be.  She looks to the outside world of possibilities and explores each one. Just when it seems she made a decision, “Belinda Baloney changed her mind.” As she gets older, the career options increase. Overwhelmed, Belinda looks to her big brother for help finding the answer. While he doesn’t answer the way she expects, his advice puts her mind at ease.

Belinda’s range of career choices blasts away gender stereotypes – she explores a variety of jobs, from a scientist to a dog walker, an artist to a mechanic, an athlete to a duck trainer. Her brother’s sage advice points out that she doesn’t have to choose just one; she has a lifetime ahead of her — she can change her mind, even multiple times.

Sarah Horan’s simple, colorful illustrations bring Belinda’s many possibilities to life. While aimed at a young audience, even older readers will be comforted by the idea that we don’t have to have our lives mapped out, that changing your mind is a viable, sometimes even desirable option.

 

 

 

Note: Though an advance digital copy of this book was provided free of charge, no compensation was made for this review and the opinions are exclusively mine. KY